"I'm callin out to you Lord, because I need your help
See once again I'm havin difficulty savin myself
behavin myself, you told me what to do, and I do it
But every and now and then, gets a little harder to go through it
Losin friends, day by day
I'm in so much pain when I'm here Lord, please take me away
I put you here to do a job, and your work ain't done
To live is to suffer, but you're still my son
And there will be a time when you shine as bright as the stars
But there won't be a, his or hers, just ours
Then you'll see what I've been tryin to show you, all these years
Do the right thing; cause after the tears, come the cheers
I will, my Lord, with my heart, and my soul
That's gonna be how I roll, from now until I'm old
Lead and I'll follow, you take away the sorrow
I'ma sleep on what you said and holla back tomorrow
I want you to know Lord, that for what you've given me I'm thankful
Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I'm grateful
You gave us power in our words, so I think before I speak
And that way when I speak, they know I'm here to teach
Can't tell em nothin wrong, cause I love em too much
I reach a lot of people, and Lord, I'm lovin the touch
But deep inside, I've got somethin that's workin against
everything I know is right, what I know makes sense
That's when you must fight harder, than you've ever fought before
cause what you've got goin on inside you is a war
between good and evil, be careful of those who wanna be you
They smile, but are not really happy when they see you
Be careful of the ones that always wanna get you high
Cause when the time comes, that one'll let you die
Listen to me! I'm here, but I can only help you
if you want me to help, what do you want for yourself? "
So here are two verses that speak to me the most and have for years. I've quoted this song on numerous occasions to illustrate points. Mainly the part where X says "I put you here to do a job and your work ain't done to live is to suffer, but you're still my son." That part made me really contemplate my position when going through difficult times and often times contributed to me having the strength to move on. The part I don't quote about the internal war and fighting harder is something I consider often as well. Recently I updated my artist statement and I discuss the burden of the hero. Often times we are faced with internal battles that we often times want to verbalize but feel as though there may not be others who understand. However, as disconnected and as isolated as we feel, there are others out there who feel just as isolated for similar reasons. I've always been a fan of heroes who act alone and have to fight harder than other heroes such as Spawn and Wolverine. Both of them have to battle emotions, thoughts and memories as well as their opponents. The reason being is that I often have similar battles as well.
Often times many people say they like Wolverine because he is a badass, ignoring the multiple dimensions of this amazing character. On the most basic level he is a mutant with an incredible healing ability that causes him to recover from any mortal wound as well as age incredibly slow. As we delve deeper this is a man with several lifetimes of memories; joy,love, pain and tragedy. He was a soldier that was experimented on and had adamantium bonded with his skeleton a rare metal that is virtually indestructible. During this process his memories were fragmented as well as altered to make him a more controllable weapon. He managed to escape and since he escaped he had to work through his memories to find one thing he would really enjoy having, inner peace. Many of us are searching for the same thing as well as pure happiness. We have to remember things happen for a reason and learn from everything that happens to us good and bad. It's hard to not get consumed by our negative thoughts and I can tell you there are times where my doubts won out. It's a never ending struggle, but as long as you don't give in there's always hope to win.
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